I know it's because I'm premenstrual, but finding out that I'm still in the In-Shape Challenge has brought more tears than joy today.
I drove to work a little late, which is not unusual for me, in order to hear the announcement. I was trying to psych myself up in case they announced my name, repeating over and over that I have the tools I need to continue this journey successfully on my own. My heart literally sank when they announced Jenn's name, and immediately my eyes swelled and I had to catch my breath. I never though my reaction to losing a teammate would have been so dramatic (call me a "queen" if you will). It's just hard to imagine our team without one vital player. Later in the day I received news that Hillary had requested to give up her spot on the team so that Jenn could continue. Again the waterworks started, happy for Jenn but sad to lose Hillary, who's always the one cheering during our workouts. I'm going to miss her bubbly personality each weekend, but I know that she's got access to a great gym at LNAS and that she'll keep with the program right along with the rest of us. Hill, you're with us in spirit. Never give up!!
My commitment to the gym is being tested at the moment. I was in LA for the weekend, attending a Chris Tomlin concert (UH-MAY-ZING!), and I did really well food-wise while I was there. No formal workout, but a lot of walking around the city. It was a whirlwind weekend to say the least. Today's been a day filled with grades and report cards, both of which I'm seriously behind on. Spending five days a week in the gym for the past four weeks is hard on the paperwork when you're a teacher, and I am feeling the crunch. I'm trying hard to breath in and out and not stress, but today will be the third day in a row that I've not been in the gym and I'm starting to freak out a little. I changed into my gym clothes when I got home, with all intentions of spending a couple of hours at In-Shape later in the evening but it just hasn't happened. I'm in between entering grades, updating my Fitday, and blogging. I'm feeling incredibly guilty sitting here, like all the work I've done is going to go out the window in one day. But honestly, I can't do it tonight, and I've got to give myself this time to work.
Now if someone can tell me how to stop feeling guilty. . .
STOP FEELING GUILTY! It would take two weeks for you to lose all the hard work you have done so far. All the muscle you have gained is burning calories around the clock. You are doing amazing okay! You need a day off to remember why you are doing this!!
ReplyDeleteThere is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, so if He isn't going to condemn you what makes you think you can condemn yourself? We all have life issues, I'm in the same boat this week - 3 meetings with parents in 3 days that will each last at least 2 hours-so I feel your pain (although you have the contest in the back of your head)-focus on your eating and doing what you can during the day, walking, doing a few pushups on a table when no one is watching, some leg lifts during commercials etc. You'll be fine :)
ReplyDelete